“You’re too dark.”
“You’re pretty, for a dark skinned woman”
“You’re hair is too nappy.”
“You shouldn’t have gone natural.”
“Maybe you wouldn’t be single if you were smaller.”
These are just a small fraction of the insults I have heard over the years. I would be lying if I told you that they did not effect me and make me insecure. I have walked this earth for more than a decade feeling less than and as a result, I have done unforsaken things to feed the desire of feeling beautiful.
This post is for the woman or man who doesn’t like what they see when they look in the mirror. I’ve been right there where you’ve been. I have looked at the mirror horrified by what was staring back at me. I have spent a lot of nights in because I didn’t want to go outside just to be ignored. I have also overexposed myself just to get attention to make me feel beautiful. I know what it’s like to be self-conscious and it sucks. I am not writing this post as someone who’s got it all figured out, but to offer tips that have helped me to start looking at myself in the way that Christ made me.
First, you are BEAUTIFUL!
I know this because God made you. You were made by a perfect God. Therefore you are perfectly created. You are beautifully created. There is no mistake in you because you were designed by perfect hands. God planned you before you were in your mother’s womb. He knew what He was doing when He created you. He created you like no one else because you are special to Him in your own way. That alone proves your beauty and worth. God saw fit to create YOU and He took His time to make you perfectly beautiful.
Where does insecurity come from?
Insecurity comes from comparing yourself to the world’s superficial definition of beauty. Social media and the media’s display beauty on feeds and screens, telling you what beauty looks like. Honestly all of the beauty in the world can’t be captured in a few shots. Beauty has depth and originality, God’s hands can’t be defined because all of his work is completely different yet flawless. If you keep comparing yourself to the next, you will let yourself down every single time. You are like no one but yourself. God intends to use your unique beauty to attract specific people to share Christ with. Your beauty is so intentional and thought-out by God, sis. Your beauty serves a purpose.
Overcoming insecurity does not always happen overnight. Once the truth of my perfect creation was revealed, I still harbored insecurity due to my looks.
Despite your current feelings of inadequacy, I encourage you to keep walking in the truth that you are fearfully and wonderfully made, you’ll soon start to believe it. 1 Peter 2:9 reminds us that we are “a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, God’s special possession”. When you walk this earth, walk with your royal crown on and the esteemed confidence of the Holy Spirit that lives within you, your beauty radiates and the light of Christ shines upon you. Then people will be gravitated to you and want to know what you do to get that glow and you can tell them, Jesus Christ!
I pray that this can help you fight that lie of unworthiness. Whenever lies fill up your mind, meditate on God’s word and FIGHT with the sword of the spirit. The truth of Christ will become your truth too with the renewing of your mind through constantly diving into the Bible.
Here are some of my favorite bible verses that I meditate on when I need to be reminded of my beauty.
“You are altogether beautiful, my darling; there is no flaw in you.” Song of Solomon 4:7
“I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well.” Psalms 139:14
“So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them.” Genesis 1:27
“But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, God’s special possession, that you may declare the praises of him who called you out of darkness into his wonderful light.” 1 Peter 2:9