This week prayers have been answered for the women who’ve been praying for more transparency from men in regards to how they think, feel, love and operate!
Devon Franklin, pastor and studio executive, went on the Breakfast Club to promote his new book, The Truth about Men: What Men and Women Need to Know that was released on 2/5. He shared the gems and insight women want to know on dating and relationships from the man’s perspective. And boy, was it a great interview!
Here are some key takeaways from the interview that I think we should all be aware of while we’re dating or in a relationship.
1. Men have a dog inside of them that they need to master.
By no means do I believe men are dogs. Even Devon stated that men aren’t dogs but have a dog in them which is lust. Mastering the dog is a metaphor for allowing the Master (God) to take control of our lust which is also our flesh. Our souls are in constant battle with our flesh. Galatians 5:17. And in order to overcome our flesh we have to intentionally die to ourselves and surrender it to God. Same goes for men. There are men who struggle with commitment and being faithful but in order to overcome it, they have to do the work. They need to die to themselves, pick up their crosses and WALK.
2. Some Men Are Driven By Lust
Lust is a selfish spirit that demands to be fed and doesn’t care what it eats even if there are consequences. When you don’t have a hold on lust, it will control you and will cause you to make some stupid decisions that can mess up your life. You can tell the difference between love and lust because love is sacrificial while lust is self driven.
3. Women can’t change his ways
Women, I know we have this Olivia Pope fixer attitude when it comes to the men in our lives but we can’t fight the war for them. As much as you may love him, it won’t fully change him. Personally, I’ve stayed in relationships because I knew his potential and I tried to love him to his potential. Sadly, it never worked. Your love can’t change him if he’s not ready for change. However, his love for you and Christ will be his catalyst for change. And once he’s ready for change you can fight WITH him.
4. All men don’t cheat
If I asked a group of women right now if all men cheat, there would be at least one who’d say “yes.” But is that true? If a man has “mastered the dog” as Devon puts it, he won’t have be lustful or unfaithful. One thing he brought up regarding cheating really stood out to me and that is the role women play in cheating. There are women, me being her many times, that are willing to settle for less than what she is worth to be with a man who is foul. She chooses to accept him how he is. Now I’m not saying that it’s the woman’s fault because her man cheated but it is her fault for choosing to stay knowing his ways. Sometimes it best to leave because sometimes space is the best cure for growth. Here’s some food for thought, one of my male friends told me that a lot of men cheat because they feel like they can get away with it.
5. Men need to be held accountable
Oooh, the praise break that just happened. Too often I’ve heard “that’s just how men are,” and many other crazy excuses for men to act less than their God given potential. Devon pointed out that when men act up, they need to be held accountable by the woman in their lives and men actually respect a woman who’ll put their foot down for what’s right.
6. The church’s role
No matter how saved you are, we all deal with some form of lust – I recently work a blog post about this – and the church does not really address this issue that lots of us are struggling with. Due to the lack of transparency a lot of these unspoken issues begin to grow. In order to overcome these issues we need to open up about it so that we can fight it!
7. Marriage doesn’t kill the spirit of lust.
Marriage doesn’t take away your problems. If you enter marriage as a servant of lust, you will continue to serve lust in your marriage. You have to get a hold on lust or it will take a hold on you.
Okay, so there were a lot of great points to the interview and I don’t want to give it all away. So, check out the entire interview with Devon Franklin on The Breakfast Club below:
Men, if there are any men who read my blog, the women want the deets! Let us know what’s going on in that mind of yours. I promise you, the world would be a better place with more transparency!
Share your thoughts on this interview below.