Hey! So if you were into my post, I’m single, celibate and I want to have sex, I wanted to share with y’all some practical tips on how to protect your purity/ celibacy.

Now that we can be honest with our feelings and admit that this celibacy journey hasn’t been without struggle, we need to come up with a game plan so that we don’t succumb to these fleshy desires. Because if you’re like me, your relationship with God outweighs any  personal desire.

We serve an amazingly gracious God who does not allow us to suffer by ourselves. And if we enlist Him to carry the load of our suffering we can truly overcome!

You guys, there’s power in prayer and there’s also power in making the moves that God has ordered for you. Last year when I was suffering from depression, I cried out to God in prayer every single day. Despite my pleas, my condition didn’t get better until one day God told me to get up and make moves. I was so busy giving God these hour long victimized monologues that I didn’t take the time to listen to God in prayer. (Prayer is a conversation between you and God). 

You see, God gives us directions on living our best life and a lot the time we only experience His best for us when we’re obedient to Him. I believe that the same is true for the struggle with celibacy. With actionable faith, we can over the temptation of having sex.

Below are some actionable tips for you to protect your purity/ celibacy. 

1. Find someone to talk to.

This may sound like an easy feat to check off but it’s not. You need a specific type of person to confide in – someone who won’t judge you, will listen to you and then offer sound advice. The importance of sharing what you’re going through with someone is that you don’t struggle in silence and you also get the chance to express how you’ve been feeling. For me, I find it extremely inhibiting when I hold in my thoughts. I feel like a balloon that’ll soon pop, but when I open up to a confidant I’m more relieved and able to better manage these desires.

2. Know your triggers and block them from your life. Look, there are specific things that trigger you horny. Those triggers are different for everyone, however it is important to take notice of what those triggers are in your life so that you can have control over them. For the most part, these triggers will be reminders into your past life. Like for me, there are certain songs that bring up some memories about my sexually active life that make me want to call an ex. What is it for you? Is it a genre of music? Movies? Places? People? Social media? Whatever/ whoever it is needs to be removed from your life IMMEDIATELY. The more you feed into these desires, the bigger the craving will become and harder for you to control. If you are truly trying to overcome this sexual desire, you have to walk away from the things that will put you in a space that’ll lead you to do something you shouldn’t do.

3. Stay active. Now by staying active, I’m not telling you to essentially run away from the issue at hand. Because that won’t cure you, the problem will just simply follow you to your next destination. However, the truth of the matter is that when you stay busy, you won’t have time to ponder on your desires. Sometimes when you’re idle, you give these sexual desires the space to flood your mind. Be productive, don’t sit on these thoughts.

Being a Christian doesn’t spare us from riding the roller coaster of life. The only difference is that Christians serve a problem solver who gets us out of low moments. The struggle may be real, BUT our God is realer and bigger! We don’t have to succumb to our desires because we can overcome with our Father who overcame. I hope that these tips help you to protect your purity/ celibacy! 


Monique Love

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