As a Christian when I hear of the proverbs 31 woman, I automatically think #goals. She is the idea of this perfect woman that all Christians should strive to be like. Well at least that’s what I’ve been taught – whether it has been by preachers, christian culture or even the standard of what men want in their wives.

Truth be told, a lot of us women are trying to break our backs to be this woman and to obtain her character. And a lot of us are also putting up this facade that only shows perfection and hides our flaws/ dirty past in order to measure up to the virtuous woman.

True story, I used to try to wake up at the crack of dawn because that’s what the virtuous woman did – mind you I am not a morning person and the struggle + attitude was real. Then one day I had a sort of epiphany and realized I’m single with no kid, I’m a family of 1, so anytime I wake up will be before my household. lol

I came on here today to tell my fellow sisters in Christ that as long as you are who God wants you to be in this current season, you’re a virtuous woman! Yes, even though you may not fit the complete criteria listed in Proverbs 31 or if your life is a hot mess!

A virtuous woman isn’t born perfect. She has sinned and has once lived life in a way that is completely secular and possibly even profane. What makes her virtuous is that she has gone through hell and has given her life to God and allowed Him to make her new. She isn’t ashamed of where she comes from or what she has done because a virtuous woman uses her past to help shape the future of others around her. She had to take tests in life so that she could give her testimony. She is valuable because every part of her, past and present, is used by God to glorify Him. And she is as rare as a ruby because no one has experienced life like her and only she can add her unique identity to help paint this world into a picture that’s pleasing to God.

You see, like a diamond is formed when a rock is pressurized, women are made into our best selves when we make it onto the other side after walking through some valleys.

Virtuous women, like the body of Christ, don’t all look the same because if we all did, we wouldn’t be as effective in going into this world and reaching all different kinds of people. Our one of a kind footprint is a special formula created by God so that we can all have stations in this world where we can be effective to the people who relate to you and your story. That’s why it is so important to acknowledge your past because the valleys you once walked through will lead other people to the promise land.

Early on in my Christian life, I tried to walk like other Christian women who I looked up to. Although they are amazing women, they are not ME and as a result I lost myself and disconnected from the world. Already suffering from insecurity, I was ashamed of who I was because frankly, I looked completely different from the “modest midi skirt wearing” Christians of today’s generation. But one day God told me that He chose me because my stripes are different from the rest. He reminded me that we all have a common goal but our roll out of achieving that goal is unique.

This is a sups short post but the point of it is to encourage you to embrace who you are, there isn’t a list of qualities that qualify you to become a virtuous woman. Just know that as long as you are who God wants you to be then you are a woman of virtue. As we grow and go through life, we accumulate virtues and can add that to our resumes. There’s someone special who needs to connect with all of you (the good and ugly) for a seed to be planted so don’t be afraid to be YOU.

So sis, yes, I know the Proverbs 31 was lit. She had all of these amazing virtues that we can only hope to gain one day, but don’t forget who you are and how amazing yours are as well. Because despite having all those great qualities nothing is better than a woman who fears God and allows Him to use ALL of her to fulfill His purpose on this earth.


Monique Love

1 Comment on I’m A Proverbs 31 Woman And I Have A Past

  1. JamesVow
    January 26, 2019 at 11:06 pm (2 years ago)

    i fully agree with you that she is not real, but I do think she is someone to be inspired by. I love this passage and I just quickly want to share 3 aspects of this passage that rung very true when I read it. Proverbs 31 starts by saying that a mother of a king called Lemeul gave him the following advice and that this is the type of women he should look for as a king. I think the mother is very wise and as a mother of 2 daughters these are the characteristics I would love for us women in my household to develop. I also think mothers of boys should spend some time giving them advice on the type of women they must court. Especially with emphasis on the character of the lady. Throughout Proverbs wisdom is portrayed as a wise women so this passage is a great analogy for wisdom and how in every day life wisdom would live life. Like a women who knows exactly what is necessary for her house and goes out to DO that. The third thing I love about this passage is that as a king s wife she is the one that makes him look good and she looks after her household and her house, but she is also a manufacturer, an importer, manager, estate owner, farmer, clothing and interior designer and a trader. She has her own dreams and aspirations and she goes after them as an advantage to her family. But most of all her perfectness does not come from herself but because she serves the Lord. May all women be blessed in the knowledge that our strength does not come from ourselves but from the Holy Spirit in us. Thanks again for your great blog Brittany and for sharing your wisdom.


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