Wait! I wrote this entire post about feeling lonely during cuffing season and THEN I realized that I don’t know what defines cuffing season. Is it the colder weather, the holidays or both?
I’m not sure but if any of you know, let a sister know.
What I do know is that a lot of people struggle with loneliness, shame, doubt, depression and many more ill feelings during this season.
Singleness is not a disease and marriage ain’t the cure. And vice versa.
Loneliness is not based off of your marital status. I know lonely single people and I know even lonelier married people. The real problem is emptiness which roots loneliness. You can be in a room of hundreds and still feel like something is missing.
Emptiness is not being filled or containing nothing.
A lot of us walk this earth being empty shells and mistake if for being alone. I just want to tell the person struggling with loneliness, like I often do, that if you keep chasing shells, instead of God, you will continue to be empty. We were created by God and our souls long to be close to the Holy Spirit. So a lot of the time that longing feeling inside you is the Holy Spirit calling out to you.
I spent the greater part of my life trying to escape this loneliness by hanging on to people. But no matter how much I chilled with others, I still felt a void within me. I’ll never forget the day I was obsessing over my latest relationship that didn’t work out, trying to figure out which old thang I wanted back when God opened my eyes to His truth. He revealed himself to me and the SECOND (I’m not lying y’all) I accepted him, I’d never felt more full and satisfied in my life. For 25 years, I’ve been like that prince in Cinderella unsuccessfully looking for someone to perfectly fit this empty space in my heart when Christ came in and instantly fit like Cinderella in a glass slipper.
Yes, it’s cuffing season and you feel alone, girl I’m right there with you. But really think, are you lonely because you are simply alone or does your soul have a void? If you have a void within you than you are lonely by default of emptiness. And I have a great solution for you that surpasses any heartbeat and that is found through Jesus Christ. You may have searched all over for someone to fill you up but no man ever has or will because no one can do God’s job.
I’m pretty sure that you’ve heard the overly used idea that before getting married you need to be content with where you are. And to be honest,I don’t think that is completely true. I believe that in order to get to any next step in your life and be successful AND happy you need to be full on Christ.
So during this cuffing season, try not to be so caught up with being single, not having kids, being unhappily married or whatever situation you are in. If your so stuck to an idea that it changes your mood then you may rely on man way more than you need to. NO ONE but our father can make you more full and satisfied than 2 big plates on Thanksgiving.
I already know, God created people to walk among each other because we are vital to each other’s growth but we can’t rely on people to do something only Christ can. We will be let down every single time.
If you are struggling with loneliness during this season, don’t look to a man or a woman to validate you but get close to our Father who will give you more joy than you ever thought you could obtain.
Just to be clear, this isn’t a post about singleness, it is a post about allowing God to permeate through you in all areas of your life and whatever your life status is. The only way to overflow with contentment, peace and joy is by allowing God to lead.
BTW, if you ever want to talk, need prayers or have business inquiries, you can email me directly at Monique@withlovebylove.com.