Source: Instagram @jada_ap

Intimacy without sex is a thing?

Lord Jesus, I’ve never known such a thing. However, as I’ve turned the pages to a new chapter in my life, I’m learning new ways to be intimate in a relationship – whenever that relationship comes. I figure, might as well get ready now, so that when God blesses me with that fine man of a future husband, everything I stand for doesn’t come crashing down at first glance at him.

Intimacy is an important part of a relationship. It’s a private world you share with your partner. Intimacy in a relationship involves physical or emotional closeness.

And sadly, most of us correlate intimacy with sex and/ or sexual acts. Though sexual activity is one part of intimacy, there are plenty of other ways you can tap in emotionally without sex. You CAN let your man inside you without him physically getting inside you. It’s possible, ladies!

So let’s dive into a few ways you can be intimate with bae without having sex.

Deep Conversations

I don’t about y’all but there’s just something so attractive about having deep conversations with the man I’m seeing. Like being comfortable enough to express your heart while he’s actively participating in the convo is so sexy.

Praying Together

As a Christian who’s serious about living with Jesus, praying with your partner feeds into a spiritual intimacy that’s vital for relational survival. The strongest relationships have God at the center of it.

Source: Instagram @complexsimplict

Holding Hands And Kissing

There’s a new “law” that’s been circulating the Christian world which is to not kiss before marriage. Still looking for the bible verse that backs up that up. 🤷🏾‍♀️ I understand not kissing or holding hands while dating to be a personal conviction rather than biblical law. I actually had that conviction early on in my Christian walk because my flesh and spirit were too weak at the time. HOWEVER, for many it’s not. Experience your mate physically with holding hands and kissing.

Spontaneous Dates

Sex is all about spontaneity and is usually committed in the HEAT of the moment, so why not replace that tension with really cute romantic dates? Take the time to learn each other’s favorite pastimes and indulge!

Cuddling

It’s not for the faint hearts because cuddling can lead you down a rabbit hole. But, if you’re REAL disciplined, I suggest cuddling. Ain’t nothing like feelings your man’s heart beat to make you close to him. Feel me?

Support Each Others Calling

Whether it’s checking in, saying encouraging words or physically assisting with purpose; do life with your partner.

Hey, girl friend. All this talk about intimacy is good and all, but if you are guarded there’s no way you can experience what we’re sharing. The only way you’ll be able to share that sacred world with your man is if the walls around your heart come down.

What walls you ask?

The bricks you’ve stacked around the perimeter of your heart every time someone’s hurt you. You may know these bricks as pain, disappointment, betrayal, unmet expectations, etc. As much as that shit hurt you, tried to break you, you can’t give it the power to effect how you approach your current/ future relationship. Your past wasn’t worthy of you then and it definitely isn’t worthy of you now. Don’t allow it to destroy what God has for you.

So what I’m saying is, get your healing! Take the time to understand and rise above the past. Figure out your role in what happened (because we all play a part). Is it your poor choice in men? Do you choose poorly because you’re still struggling from daddy issues or you don’t trust that God has someone for you? Whatever the reason is, get your healing. Give your current/ future man the gift of healthy partner.

FYI, a damaged heart still longs for intimacy. It’ll just lean towards unhealthy/ shallow forms of intimacy to feed its desires like sex or approval from others. Work on your healing so that you can have healthy relationships. Work on your healing for your personal sanity. Healing is a form of self care.

Source: Instagram @Kristylesbykristen

I say this because true intimacy occurs when there’s vulnerability in the air. By being open, you can get close to your man in ways that being guarded can’t. The way to long-lasting intimacy is through the heart.

I pray that this article inspired you to find new ways to be intimate with your partner.

As always, leave a comment or email me at monique@withlovebylove.com

With Love,

Monique Love

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